The Corny Awards

Once in a generation, nay a century, perhaps even a millenium, or maybe even a geological epoch, or at least once a year, individual humans distinguish themselves from the masses with feats of astounding wondrousness and amazing awestasticitudenousness so as to be declared “Off The Cob” in a ceremony of untold mysticysm and cheesey wackitude.

These enlightened and enlightening paragons of geekdom serve as a shining beacon, uplifting the hearts and minds of the thronging nerd herd who gather yearly to pay homage to these awesome heroes with back rubs, lap dances, hand shakes, hugs, trophies and other various assorted sundry myriad tokens of esteem. Also, there is an award show.

Do you have what it takes to win a coveted Corny Award? Probably. It’s not really that hard.

This is not a Corny Award.

The Corny Awards are presented as part of the Closing Ceremony, which takes place Sunday at 3pm.